tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24739721.post6267301805791038426..comments2023-10-20T12:36:55.317-04:00Comments on Trauma Treatment for Children: Playing the VictimPatricia Wilcox, LCSWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07444420374748925069noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24739721.post-21038548861978443202009-11-19T16:36:04.087-05:002009-11-19T16:36:04.087-05:00This scenario also raises the question of why we a...This scenario also raises the question of why we as treaters often react so strongly to children who "play the victim." I think there are a couple reasons. One is that it helps us to deal with our helplessness when someone doesn't seem to want to help him or herself. When saying they just "play the victim" and putting responsibility solely in their camp, it takes the responsibility off of us to figure out why. Thus, we don't feel so helpless.<br /><br />Also, children who have learned through experience to use their "victim-ness" do so because it can be extremely powerful. This is usually not a conscious process but just something the child has learned over time. A supervisor once told me "in every masochist is a sadist." There is a tremendous amount of anger and rage in this expression of "victim-ness." Because of this, annoyance, irritation, and anger often get evoked in us. We then place blame back on them to ward off our own anger. Relating in this way can be a very powerful way of the child getting another to give in to his or her demands, to meet their immediate needs. Have you ever had a child say, "you can't do this to me, you're torturing me, it's not fair, how can you do this..." We often feel very guilty about what we've done, a limit we've set, and feel pulled to reverse our actions, yet also angry at our feelings being "played with" or "manipulated." Blaming the victim can be a way of us acting out that anger.Steve Brownnoreply@blogger.com